Purple Goop Cake

Yes, you read the title correctly.  Sadly it tastes as bad as it sounds and looks...

I started with a chocolate cake recipe that I got off a cookbook on my dsi.  It's an emergency chocolate cake.  In other words, it only uses ingredients that are usually in your pantry.  The weird thing is that it calls for mayo.  Once it's cooked you can't taste the mayo it's just to give it creaminess.  So that's actually not the thing that makes it taste bad.  However, I didn't have flour...
   I only had whole wheat flour.  So, I just figured that in old times they probably didn't have the refining power to get anything but whole wheat and they had cake.  So maybe it wouldn't taste so bad.  very bad idea...seriously it's horrible don't do it.  ever.
  And to make matters worse the frosting recipe called for heavy cream.  Which I also didn't have.  What I didn't know then is that the heavy cream is needed.  It doesn't whip right without it.  So I just used normal milk.
   Sometimes I ask myself why I do these things...  I'm just plain crazy.
   Basically the cake tastes like whole wheat and the frosting like butter.  So of course I got my friends to try it.  One of them actually had to spit it out in the garbage.
   Before I end this I'd just like to say I don't usually make stuff this horrible.  And please don't ever make it.  You'll regret it.